Friday

So Friday is the day! I go for my beta if my period doesnt come first. Honestly.... I was excited for this day 2 weeks ago when I had my IUI but now... not so excited! I know im not pregnant! I know friday is just going to be another confirmation of how much of a failure I am! What a waste! I feel like im taking all these drugs, jabbing my stomach with all these needles for no reason wha so ever! Why is this so difficult!
This was our last month to get pg in order to have a baby for 2009.... and everyone keeps reminding me of that and it sucks!
I can not wait until May... Our yearly vacation to disney! I just need to get away for a little bit! I need a mental vacation!!!

Positive thought!

Sooo we went yesterday for our Insemination! and everything went well! I had 2 great large follicles that were over 20mm. And Rays count was over 12 million which is awsome! Ideal is 10 million~ So we got great news all around!
As I layed there the doctor told me to lay for 15 minutes and only think happy positive baby thoughts! lol So thats what Ray and I did.... and now everything I say something negative... ray reminds me happy positive thoughts! he is so cute!
So in 2 weeks hopefully we will find out that there is a llittle bun cookin in the oven!
Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers going!!'

xoxo
jamie

Never lose faith right?

So We are in the middle of IUI #3. I went yesterday to Dr. S, everything looks ok... I only have one egg that was about 17MM. I have to go back tomorrow morning so here is to hoping its at least 20MM so we can do the insemination on Saturday! I have to do my trigger tomorrow! Im not thrilled about it! I'm not afraid on needles, Im not afraid of anything really when it comes to the medical field... except for not being able to become pregnant! So tomorrow I will jab myself in the stomach with a needle and pray that this cycle works!
I try to stay positive but sometimes its just so hard! There is this song thats actually on my playlist by Josh Groban called Believe... Its on his christmas album.... I listen to it all year long! It gives me hope.. It makes me feel good! Its just such a positive song! I think that if anyone was to have a horrible day and they listened to this song... They would just feel a little bit better!!
I love music! Country is my Fav!! I tell Ray all the time I should be a cowgirl... he just laughs! I believe in music... I think music just carries such a powerful message.... and I feel that there is just a song for everything!!

Well heres to believing that something good is coming my way!!

xoxo
Jamie